Genesis Take Two

1.  In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.

2.  And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero;  and he saw it was good.

3.  And God said – Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said – Let the Da ta go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

4.  And God said – Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers and called them hardware.

5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs;  small and big… And told them – Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.

6.  And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer
will make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.

7.  And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and sub-volumes but DO NOT USE Windows (call it forbidden fruit).

8.  And God said – It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He took a bone from the Programmer’s body and created a creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does;  And God called the creature: the USER.

9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it was Good.

10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And Bill said to the User – Did God really tell you not to run any programs ?

11. And the User answered – God told us that we can use every program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.

12. And Bill said to the User – How can you talk about something you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.

13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless – since Windows could replace it.

14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the Programmer that it was good.

15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And God asked him – What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered – I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And God said – Who told you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the Programmer said – It was Bill who told us to !

16. And God said to Bill – Because of what you did you will be hated
by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.
And you will always sell Windows.

17. And God said to the User – Because of what you did, the Windows will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers help.

18. And God said to the Programmer – Because you listened to the
User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors
and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door
and secured it with a password.

20. Boom!! And God said, let there be a general Protection fault and the blue screens of death.

New Nursery Alphabet

YahooMail spamming craze

You probably have noticed by now that yahoo does so well when it comes to spamming.
I guess each of you has experienced the situation where yahoo addresses on your contact list keep churning out unsolicited emails. Some time back i found it wise to setup a rule whenever i receive email from some 3 friends simply because am sure what kind of emails i receive from them.

This morning, i decided to do some little research see if there are any solutions to this problem.
I have actualy scrolled through a number of forums and discussions lists. These are some of my findings;

– You can actually block an address or domain from delivering email to your inbox. Cool feature, though spammers are getting so efficient that by using advanced spoofing methods, they can hide their identity in the message headers.
Click here for more details on how to block emails.
– Spam guard filtering. These are rules that you impose to redirect spam email. With this, you have to train your inbox by continously customising the options.
Click here for more details about spam filtering.
– Someone also recommended that by just switching from the old yahoo classic to beta is a big step in dealing with spam.
Click here for more details about switching to beta.
– Other minor tips and standard practices like, never ever attempt to reply to spam email or click unsubscribe as these help the spammer to actually confirm your address.
– There also some premium anti-spam solutions available.

However, i found out that most people recommend the best solution to be quiting yahoo for gmail specifically.
Then the biggest challenge people find is the migration of old email and contacts from yahoo to gmail. This has been taken care of under gmail settings.
If you searched google you can surely find a step by step procedure to accomplish this.

Dont forget to delete your yahoo account after you are done with it.
Click here to delete yo account 🙂

My2cents

Joke: MORE SOAP

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Laundry,
so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of dirty clothes:
“USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results,
so the following week she enclosed another note: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

The laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered,
it contained a note from HIM:
“I USE PLENTY OF SOAP ON PANTIES! BUT PLZ USE PLENTY OF TISSUE ON BEHIND!!!”

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Murphy’s Laws of Computing

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you’d least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human…to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it’s downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

9. A complex system that does’ t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

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If restaurants functioned like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is gates, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.
Patron: No, it’s still there.
Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the Bill. I’m running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your bill.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.
Patron: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.
[waiter leaves]
Patron: Waiter! There’s another fly in my soup!

The Bill:
Soup of the Day ……………………………………$5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day……………$2.50
Access to support …………………………………$1.00

So, what are you waiting for to go Open Source
http://opensource.org/

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How i ‘Run’ through my windows quick!

Hold up!
Its not the breaking of windows you usualy see in the movies.
Over the years that i have been exposed to the windows operating system, i have found that launching most of the common programs &utilities can be done pretty simpler with known keyboard shortcuts.

Below are a few program shortcuts that i use often that i have hence-forth found to be very helpful. All you would need is to launch the Command Prompt by holding down the windows key and key R (win+R) or going through Start->Run.
Then u can type out the commands below in the Run dialog.

Notepad – notepad
Wordpad – write
Calculator – calc
MS Word – winword
MS Excel – excel
MS Access – msaccess
outlook – outlook
Internet Explorer – iexplore
Mozilla Firefox – firefox
Internet Properties – inetcpl.cpl
Show Desktop – win+D
Windows Explorer – win+E or explorer
Solitaire – sol
AdobePhotoshop – photoshop
AdobeFireworks – fireworks
AdobeAcrobat – acrobat
Contropl Panel – control
Add \Remove Programs – appwiz.cpl
Display Properties – desk.cpl
Printers and Faxes – control printers
Group Policy Editor – gpedit.msc
Registry Editor – regedit
Logs off Windows – logoff
Shuts Down Windows – shutdown
WindowServices – services.msc
Task Manager – taskmgr
Windows Media Player – wmplayer
Nero – nero

How to make linux look like XP

To many pc users, linux is so mch a threat!
But here is how you can make your linux installation look exactly like windows XP.
Surely this can make you more psychologically comfortable.

Click here to download the install files (tar.gz) for this theme.

You Are Not Alone

There is a widow who cries every night she lies in her bed.
She is sadder every time she sees a young couple hold hands.
You are not alone

There is a sickly child, who sees the world from the hospital windows
and the ward is his playground.
You are not alone

There is a girl who’s been dumped by her boyfriend and spends her days and nights listening to R&B songs and missing every moment they shared.
You are not alone

There is a man who talks to his dog at night and during the day,
watches your feet pass fast as he hopes for another coin to drop in his plate.
You are not alone

There is a famous celebrity who can’t find a single friend in his entourage
or the crowd that keeps screaming his name.
You are not alone

There is a guy who works so hard for his family back home in Africa. He goes home every night to his 14″ TV and a picture of his wife and kids
You are not alone

If you find me, I’ll be your friend anytime.
You can definitely find the one i attempt to imitate
JESUS – He’ll be your friend ANYTIME.

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15 Steps to a More Productive Workday

Each of us is unique and no process will work for everyone, but there are key things that you can do to improve your workflow.

1. Have a Task List for the Day
The best way to have an unproductive day is to work throughout the day without a clear definition of what you need to accomplish. Simply having a to-do list will go a long way in keeping you on track.

2. Prioritize Tasks
It’s important to not only create a task list, but also to prioritize the items that you’re looking to get done. Your tasks will differ from day-to-day, but it’s likely that you’ll have a few very important things that must get done, and then some others with varying levels of importance and urgency.

3. Place More Emphasis on Finishing Tasks Rather than Starting New Ones
It’s tempting to dig in to new tasks before completing others. By doing this you’ll usually be costing yourself more time and effort later when it comes to finishing those tasks and projects.

4. Know the Strongest Times of Your Work Day
Some people work best early in the mornings, others prefer afternoons or evenings.
Everyone has times of the day that are stronger than others in terms of focus and productivity.

5. Give Yourself Some Flexibility
There will be some days that don’t go quite as planned and when you don’t feel like you do most other days. Allow yourself to have some flexibility to change things around according to the circumstances.

6. Have a Specified Ending Time for Work
With a set ending time it’s easier to get moving quickly and to get more productivity out of each hour. Without a set ending time you will often find yourself working with a little bit less efficiency since you will feel like you have plenty of time.

7. Bulk Process
In order to achieve more efficiency and productivity, try to use larger blocks of time and get similar things done all at once.

8. Track Your Time
Tracking your time can help you to find inefficiencies and ways to improve your productivity. Without knowing how your time is spent, it’s hard to know how you can improve the use of your time.

9. Recognize Your Distractions
One of the first steps to working productively is to recognize your distractions.
In order to eliminate or control your distractions you’ll first have to accurately recognize and understand specifically what challenges you have when it comes to working productively.

10. Have Realistic Expectations
Taking on too many projects at once and trying to juggle too many different tasks will result in a cluttered work day with unimpressive results. Resist the urge to try to get too much done, and focus on what is currently on your plate.

11. Plan Your Next Day at the End of Each
Go through your to do list and plan on how to start the next day. If you wait till the next morning, you will waste time remembering exactly where you broke off the previous day.

12. Get Enough Sleep the Night Before
However, sleep is an important part of a productive schedule. Everyone functions differently in this area.

13. Eat Healthy
The food that you put into your body can have a big impact on your energy level and your feelings in general. So eating healthy foods will allow for better productivity.

14. Get Fresh Air

15. Work in a Comfortable Environment

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